


Wish You Were Here

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Doggy!, Gen, Sam's Kind of a Twit In This One, Trip to Heaven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 06:22:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7607218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Dean are once again killed and taken to Heaven.  It's not much better for them this time around, even without an angel screwing with them.</p>
<p>*Note: While, technically, there are major character deaths, hence the tag, we follow them into the afterlife and they come back to life.  This is a Supernatural fanfic, after all. ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wish You Were Here

Sam looked around in complete confusion. He’d seen this place before, but he couldn’t remember when or where. The last thing he remembered was being threatened by a gang of hunters.

He frowned, concentrating on that memory. A group of hunters blamed Sam for the Leviathans, which hardly seemed fair to him, but they were angry enough and cold enough to…

To shoot both Sam and Dean. They were dead. Again. Looking around again with that in mind, he realized where he was. He’d been fifteen, summer break had started, and Dean had told their dad that he was taking a hunt off to spend some time with his brother. John had been pissed, but accepted it with relative grace, telling them to meet up with him when he called. This was the cabin they’d broken into the first night.

Sure enough, the window slid open and in came Dean. At nineteen. He had a pizza, a six-pack of beer, and a VHS copy of Scream. “Come on, Sammy, food’s here!”

Sam went over, accepting the hug from his brother, and then started looking for the road. As much as he’d love to kick back with some beer and watch Scream with his brother, he’d rather actually be with Dean, and the real Dean should be around here somewhere.

He found Dean at a racetrack. He didn’t know any of the people Dean was hanging out with at all, which surprised him. Dean turned and broke into a brilliant sunny grin when he saw him. “Hey! I was wondering when you’d get here. Welcome to 2002. August, I think. Not really sure. Dad ran off and left me on my own, and I fell in with these guys for the day.”

“2002, huh?” Sam folded his arms across his chest. “Dad ran off, I see the Impala right over there so obviously it’s working fine, and you’re at a racetrack instead of hauling ass to California because…?”

“Because I had a hunt? I don’t remember exactly.” Dean shrugged. “I’m sure I tried. Have to look up exactly when this was when we get somewhere we have Dad’s journal.”

“Yeah. Obviously, you tried real hard.”

Dean sighed. “Sammy, it was a long time ago. What good does it do us to fight about it now? I’m sure I had a good reason. I wished back then you were here with me, and now, you’re here.”

“Whatever.” Sam looked around. “What’s so great here?”

Dean threw an arm out at the track. “Racing! You know we never actually got to go to one of these, and I’d always wanted to. And then these guys are pretty cool.”

Sam tried. He did. But watching cars go in circles had always been Dean’s thing, not his. Dean noticed the restlessness. “Okay. Come on. Follow the road. Let’s go find another memory.”

“Right.” Sam found them a road that took them to an apple orchard.

Dean turned to stare at Sam. “This? Seriously? That damn scarecrow that had us fighting?”

Sam shrugged. “I don’t know. You were here a lot longer than I was. You hook up with that girl, maybe?”

“No!”

Sam moved. He found Dean and the girl – Emily, that was her name – tied to stakes. “Oh, I take back everything I said. I am so happy to see you.”

Dean smirked at Sam. “Looks like your memory after all.”

Sam shot back a bitchface. “Nothing to do with getting away from you, though. Coming back to you, in fact. Actually… you said I could go, you’d let me do what I needed to, and made sure I knew you wanted me with you. Everything I’d ever wanted to hear from you.”

“That was beautiful, Sam. Hold me.” Dean put his hand on the back of Sam’s neck.

“Oh, shut up.” Dean laughed as Sam swatted his arm away. “You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah, you love me anyway.”

Sam couldn’t argue. Didn’t want to, either. “Come on, this is a good memory but we can probably find one where you weren’t suckered and then not even given pie.”

Dean laughed, a full-body laugh. “Road’s this way.” This time, it led them back to their home in Lawrence. Dean’s memory, then. Dean turned to Sam, a slight panic in his eyes. “Do I wuv hugs?”

Sam glanced at Dean’s shirt and did his best not to laugh. He failed. “No. This time, you’re Daddy’s Little Angel.”

“Oh my god. Dad would flip.” Dean looked down at his shirt. “Wow. This had to be Mom’s doing.”

“Deano!” John threw open the door. Sam couldn’t remember ever seeing his father look that excited about anything. “Hey, kiddo. Come on, there’s someone you need to meet.”

“Sure, dad.” Dean took off, anticipation level high. Sam followed. John led them downstairs, where Mary had something squirmy in her arms. Sam bit his lip. Was this…?

No. It wasn’t. “Dean, come meet Maggie.” Dean went forward, and a tiny Labrador puppy stuck her nose out. “Think you can play with her for a bit while your mom and I get her bed and toyes and things from the car?”

Sam didn’t wait around this time. He couldn’t. He left.

 

It felt like hours later when Dean caught up with him. He’d bounced between memories – Dean back from Hell, Sam back from Hell hugging Dean in Bobby’s living room, Dean coming for him at Stanford. Dean caught up to him in the beautiful room. “Sammy? There you are. You didn’t like Maggie?”

“I didn’t know Maggie had ever existed.” Dean had a dog.

Dean nodded. “Yeah. We only had Maggie for three months. She got out into traffic, and… I barely remember her myself. We lost her right around the time Mom found out you were coming. Dad said we’d get another dog when you were old enough to be taught.”

Dean may have meant it just as an explanation, but Sam took it as an accusation. “So your little brother screwed up your chance to have a dog. I’m sorry.”

“Sam, no. Don’t…”

“Come on, let’s get out of here. You just killed Zachariah. Don’t need to remember Michael coming for Adam, thanks.” Sam threw open the door and headed for the nearest road. Dean followed.

Once again, the surroundings were unfamiliar to Sam. He looked around, trying to find something to help him guess, and he saw John. John as he was when Sam was about nine. He was trapped, and a spirit was bearing down on him. “I remember this!” Dean raised the gun in his hands and fired twice. While the spirit reformed itself, Dean rushed to John, took the lighter fluid from him, and sprinted for the open grave.

Dean got the lighter out just as the ghost came back, and he threw his gun to John. It worked out well. Dean wasn’t as practiced with the lighter, so it took him a couple tries to get it lit. John took a shot at the ghost, giving Dean time to light the grave up.

“You did good, son,” John said when Dean came to untie him. “Good work keeping your head in the hunt and not panicking over me. I’m proud of you.”

Dean couldn’t meet his dad’s eyes as he tried to hide the smile. “Thanks, Dad.”

Ropes free, John stood up and stretched. “You okay? Ready to go get Sammy?”

Now Dean did look up, a smirk on his face. “Do we have to?”

Sam was looking for the road when the light came for them.

 

Sam’s eyes opened to an impossible sight. “Cas? How… it’s good to see you!” He pulled himself up enough to hug the angel. “Thanks for the save. What happened to you?”

“I’m not sure. A woman, Daphne Allen, found me by the river and took me to her home. She cared for me for several days. But when you and Dean were shot, I felt it. I came to find you. And when I did… I remembered everything.” Castiel reached out, placing two fingers to Sam’s forehead. “Sam, I’m so sorry. I can’t fix your wall.”

“That’s okay. I’ll just… I’ve got coping mechanisms. Don’t worry about me.” Sam forced a smile and got to his feet. “Is Dean okay?”

“Yes. He should be waking any moment now.”

“Good.” Sam started gathering his stuff, throwing his bags over his shoulder. “Keep an eye on him, will you? Tell him I’m all right, this is just me leaving because I’m pissed, not because…”

Cas looked quizzically at him, but Sam took off without further explanation, and he could hear Dean waking up and asking Cas what was going on. It kept Cas from coming after him. After three days, he knew he had to go back. He needed Dean. Stone number one to keep him from Lucifer.

“Sammy. Thank god.” Dean wrapped him up in a hug, which was still rare enough that Sam hugged back. “You okay?” he asked when he pulled back.

“No.”

Dean reached for Sam's injured hand. “Lucifer?”

“And you.” Sam pulled his hand out of Dean's grasp and shoved it into a pocket. He didn't need help right this second.

“Me?”

“Heaven? Sorry you’re stuck with me now, but…”

“Whoa." Dean stared at Sam. "Sammy, what are you talking about?”

“At least with me, we know it was Zachariah fucking with us! What’s your excuse?”

“Huh?”

“Last time, I was a baby. This time – Stanford, not born, left behind. Cleaning up Dad’s mess with mom, being free to have fun like a normal guy, having a dog? You know the only time I’ve ever known you not to have your head in the hunt? But no, getting Sam’s not a priority. Not when Dad’s praising you.”

“Sam, what… first off, that was a _joke_ , and I knew there was no way Dad wouldn’t get that. It was a two-hour drive to get back to you and we did it in an hour and a half. I’ve been thinking about why those memories, since you left, and Cas and I came up with something. You gonna listen to it or just assume you’re right and I came to get you at Stanford because I just cannot wait to get away from you?”

Sam folded his arms. “Let’s hear it.”

“Okay. We’ll ignore Zachariah’s fuckery, because obviously. The racetrack – that was a great day, but every time I turned around it seemed like I saw something that reminded me of you, made me wish you were there with me. You couldn’t tell in the memory, but I had a broken nose and a black eye, and I didn’t want to show up at Stanford busted up or you’d have accused me of trying to drag you back in. You did that once, and I learned.” Fair enough, Sam had to admit. He’d thrown quite the fit when Dean showed up covered in bruises and cuts. “I checked dates in Dad’s journal, and I did make it out to Stanford a couple days later. Remember? That time we went to that frat party and I beat up Brady for suggesting we make out for the girls to watch?” Sam did remember. That made him feel so much better.

“Obviously at the time I didn’t wish you were with me to play with Maggie, but later, I wished you could’ve met her. Every time you said you wanted a dog, I thought of Maggie and wished she’d lived. I have no idea what would’ve happened, if she’d have gotten out of the fire. Would she have kept Dad from going nuts? Would we have taken her with us, somehow? Or would we have given her away? We all loved that dog.”

“And that hunt, that was before Dad was letting you come but after you knew what was going on and started begging to come with us. I’m glad you didn’t see Dad get shot, but I wished you could’ve seen me finally be good enough for Dad after the shtriga.” By now, Sam’s eyes were overflowing. He knew how heavily the shtriga weighed on him. “So I don’t know. We go back, you’ll see memories of you, I’m sure. Like I saw memories of me this time. But you’ll see times like that, too. Where I’m rewriting my own memories to fix the flaw – you weren’t there. I think, and Cas says it could be possible, that that’s a major part of my Heaven.”

Now Sam felt terrible. He could feel a buzz at the back of his brain, but ignored it determinedly. “I’m sorry, Dean. I should’ve…”

“Yeah, you should’ve. Speaking of Cas, though, he’s come up with something to help you. He thinks. He told you he can’t fix your wall?” Sam nodded. “He thinks maybe he can take the memories, shift the problem. It’s your call, but…”

“I’ll talk to Cas.” Sam hugged his brother again. “I’m just glad this is straightened out.”

**Author's Note:**

> Most people I know believe that Zachariah was responsible for Sam's poor showing in "Dark Side of the Moon". This came out of me thinking about possible other reasons Sam might have had those memories that time.
> 
> The title is both appropriate to Dean's feelings about the memories, and the Pink Floyd album following Dark Side of the Moon.
> 
> Maggie is named for one of my dogs. She's 11 years old, six feet away from me as I type, and has never, that I know of, been anywhere close to playing in traffic.
> 
> Comments are hugs for writers!


End file.
